Sunday, September 26, 2010

Why I Have Gray Hairs

This note made its way into my hands when I returned from an errand yesterday:

So sweet, no? Then I opened it up:

(Dear Mom, I love Truman. Could I marry Truman when I'm 16?)

Practically anyone who's spent any time with our family knows that my four year old has a mad crush on her older brother's best friend. And friends, this is not a passing fancy. Truman has been the apple of this girl's eye for the past nine months or so, which, when you're four, represents a significant percentage of your lifespan.

I'm not exactly sure whence the charm. The boy is sweet, pleasantly goofy, and good-natured -- indeed, tolerates her declarations of affection with patience and an occasional head-pat -- but not exactly tall, dark and handsome. Not to mention hunky and mysterious. However, he does play in a band. (Guess who made an electric guitar out of tinfoil recently?) And has lately taken to wearing a fedora.

She writes him love notes, and mails them once in a while, sometimes with a piece of candy tucked inside. She draws pictures of their wedding. She makes declarations like this one: "Mom, I found out there's another girl who loves Truman. But I will WIN HIM."

These are the moments when I would dearly love a child psychiatrist on speed-dial. Do I even need to tell you that neither of her older siblings has EVER expressed interest in ANYONE of the opposite sex?

But instead, I draw a deep breath and remind myself to keep the big picture in mind here, which of course, is my relationship with the small being in my household who knows her own mind, brims with unabashed feeling, and trusts me to hold her heart in my hands.

It's small stuff. And I won't sweat it. But I reserve the right to roll my eyes and throw my hands desperately in the air when the occasion demands it.


Stephanie said...

Oh my. When I looked at it, I thought the note said "when I'm 20" - still not the ideal marrying age (how old were you, again?), but better than 16.

Maybe she will get it all out of her system now at age 4 and when she is 16 it will be smooth sailing for you. Maybe?

KTG said...

I love that she stamped the date on the cover of her card.Adorable!

cjoy said...

Save that.

Because she may come home at 16 with some other boy you truly dislike and you can pull this out and say, "But honey, we had an arrangement....Truman will be heartbroken."


You may want it posted at her wedding (when she's like 61...not 16, right?) if the groom somehow happens to be Truman.

I thought it said 20, as well...but I do see the 16. Of course, at 16 you can tell her she's not 20 yet and you're holding her accountable even on her typos. ;D

Raji P. said...

Soo romantic! And how convenient, you will get along famously with your inlaws! Please, let me attend the wedding! :-) :-)

(there's no English word for the relationship, is there, other than inlaws? In Tamil there is a perfect word for the parents whose children are married to each other)

Saints and Spinners said...

I remember the teenage boy I fancied when I was 4. It was intense. I drew him pictures every day. I nodded with recognition when I read "...for the past nine months or so, which, when you're four, represents a significant percentage of your lifespan." Children's emotions are just as complex as adults'. I am guessing that part of Truman's attraction is that he's a truly decent human being. If so, wouldn't it be great if that could carry on into teen-hood?

Thank you for this post. It helps remind me of the immediacy of my seven year old's feelings and observations.

Saints and Spinners said...

P.S. With the last part, I meant your daughter's teen-hood. I wish I had valued decency and kindness when I was a teen.

Vanessa said...

I loved reading this post.