Why am I so tired right now, aside from the fact that it's almost 11 p.m.?
Probably because I've been staying up way too late reading about a real-life tragedy, a nightmare of sorts, and if you haven't heard about NieNie you can get the scoop here. I found out about her, and her accident, a few days ago and have been reading her old posts, feeling shaken, haunted, by the idea that someone so young (younger than me) and so beautiful and alive and in love with her husband and four kids could, in a split second, have her beauty and nearly her life taken from her and begin a long, painful walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I read her posts and see her pictures with the dread of knowing what she did not know when she wrote them, so full of amusement and joie de vivre. The ultimate irony, of course, is that she was the one who bought her husband his first flying lesson as a birthday present two years ago. My mind races when I go to bed, until I realize once again that it is my job not to wonder how or why or when or if, but to pray for this woman whom I will never meet.
Then I found out about another tragedy, here. More late-night readings, more insomnia. It's different with this one because without a personal blog, I have no way of knowing who she was before. The haunting comes more from reading the "after" -- all the pain and loss she's endured since her pneumonia went awry during an emergency c-section. It certainly makes my ordeal at Caroline's birth* seem like an annoying case of the sniffles! If you think of it, please join me in praying for the Lord to be their sweet shepherd in this time, and if He wills, to restore her sight.
I know this post is a bit of a downer, but it's what I've been thinking about of late. More Big Thoughts to follow in the next few days, on the subject of ... family size. Stay tuned!
*For those who weren't part of that drama, I'll sum it up with: Days in the ICU with double pneumonia for me (truly a Thanksgiving to remember); ensuing weeks of visiting various medical specialists to figure out why my newborn was incapable of pooping. Not a chapter in our lives we'd like to repeat ... but we're keeping it all in perspective.
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6 comments:
11pm? That's weird; your blog says you posted at 8pm. Is your time zone setting accurate? Well, what's keeping ME up? It is 12:40am. Yeesh. I need to go to bed!
Oh wow. Didn't know about your incident with Caroline when she was born. Glad it all worked out - that is, that everyone is healthy now!
Family size? Are you expanding it?? Heehee.
I shall not go read the two sad posts you mentioned, because I certainly will not sleep. I too, take such things to heart these days, so I have to be careful what I read.And I'm already having trouble sleeping. :-)
Practically speaking, Hannah, you ought not read such things late at night - it can hardly be good for you! The other night while Dave was gone I watched, against my better judgement, a movie in which the husband and father dies at the very end, and it was a very bad note on which to go to bed! But of course, you were reading about real people in real life tragedies, and there is value in praying for them and realizing, at the same time, our own blessings. Maybe it's done just as well in daylight hours, though! (I know, I know - with all that free time you have during the day!)
And I'm eagerly awaiting your next post! Don't keep us waiting too long! :-)
Please expand on that idea of family size....
and daytime or night time, i can tell you that stuff is just depressing.
and Amy, we are reading little house on the prairie and your comment reminds me an awful lot of Caroline Ingalls. hehe
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