Late Sunday Night

Propping eyes open after laboring over birthday present and card for a certain daughter turning 5 tomorrow ...

This is one of those weeks, starting maybe last night, when it seems like there's just TOO much to do (esp. since some of us leave Wednesday for Boston for Peter and Phoebe's wedding). The only way to manage it seems to be to write every single thing down and just do the next thing.

But I wanted to record something both awful and precious that happened this morning. When I went to pick up Ian from his Sunday School class, the teacher asked to speak with me. Cue the pit in the stomach. I knew this had to happen sooner or later; in fact it shocks me that we've gone this long without a Discussion. Ian is a gem in so many ways, but classroom manners are not his forté.

She and I and Ian all sat down together and she explained both the incident that occurred today and the recent trend of a disrespectful attitude toward the teachers and even some of the classmates. To say that I felt terrible is an understatement. We work hard on helping the kids understand the importance of treating other people with respect. He does well with us for the most part, but we do have issues with outside the family sometimes.

But you know what made the whole thing sweet? Deborah, the teacher, explained so kindly to Ian that the reason they come to serve with his class week after week is that they really care about him and the other boys. She said she knows he's very smart and has lots of ideas to share, and yet lately he hasn't seemed like himself in class, so they're concerned that he's unhappy and that his behavior is coming out of something that's bothering him inside. She shared a memory of a similar incident with her own son, from many years ago (this is why I so appreciate the older believers in Christ, who have come on this journey already).

I saw him go from sullen and resentful at being blamed for something he "didn't do," to connecting with her and going on his way with a lighter heart (while I cried; how embarrassing is THAT?!?!). After he left, she told me that she hoped I wouldn't feel the need to "ground" him or take this any further, but that she felt like through our conversation the Lord was able to touch his heart. She also acknowledged that it's the end of year, he's older than most of the kids in the class, and he's probably bored (not that that excuses rude behavior, but it helps explain his acting out, since Ian doesn't do boredom well).

This incident could have gone so differently -- I know from experience as a child. I had to wonder if I could have had the same conversation and attitude had it been a child in my PreK class. I felt so humbled and thankful for her faithfulness to call him out for unacceptable behavior, but also the love and gentleness that believed the best about a child who's still a work in progress (aren't we all?!). I have so much to learn!