Car Chronicles

Y'all, I am so frustrated. No, no, that's too mild a word. I want to crawl into my bed, pull the covers over my heard, somehow receive a lobotomy, and reemerge into society when I have a brain that actually FUNCTIONS.

This is the sad, sad story, in five parts.

First, I run out of gas while driving home.

Second, I am forty five minutes late to work (two weeks ago) because I have to tear the house apart looking for my car keys, which turn out to be in the cupholder of the stroller.

Third, last Sunday, my keys slip through the fingers of a certain child of mine and slide into the sewer opening of the curb by which we parked. (Note: this is the SECOND time this child has dropped something into that sewer opening. We are NEVER parking there again.) Another child had to shimmy under my van and into the opening to fish out my keys. I promised him I would share this story of his heroism at his wedding, in about twenty years. One of our elders made me sign a contract indicating my intent to do so.

Fourth, last night at AWANA, I lose my keys. Thinking I've locked them in my car, I send out an SOS, and a very nice AWANA lady drives the children and me home. I pick up Tim's keys and she drives me back to get my car. (The spare key, hitherto kept in a magnetic lock box, has wandered off on vacation.) Oh, and when I finally get into my car? No keys. But we had a lovely visit, driving around in the dark.

Fifth, this morning MY HUSBAND CANNOT FIND HIS KEYS!!!!!!! The ones he lent ME last night! We searched the house for TWO AND A HALF hours. I am not making this up. And this is the first day he's supposed to be back at work after lying in bed sick for five days. "Can you remember what you did when you walked through the door?" he asked so sweetly, a few times. Well, of course not, because I was talking to my neighbor Emily on my cellphone and was immediately assaulted by my wakeful three year old, and because I have seem to have NO SHORT TERM MEMORY WHATSOEVER. We. Still. Cannot. Find. Those. Keys.

So. Our family is currently in possession of ZERO keys.
Maybe you can pray for us because my prayers/accusatory conversations with the Omniscient One, are going unheeded at the moment. (Although He did send our nice friend Virginia over with dinner when she heard about Tim's adventures with the flu.)
ARGHHHH!!!