Friends, we are in Memphis, Tennessee, hunkered down at the Doubletree (thank you, Priceline Hotels!) after Day One of Interminable Driving.
Guess what? Turns out it's actually a really shoddy idea to take a road trip on Christmas Day, that is if you actually want to eat hot food for one of your meals.
We found the only restaurant on God's green earth, I mean Memphis, that was open, and it was a stinky, smoky, sports bar, and they kicked my kids out for being under 21. And as it turns out, it's also a shoddy idea to mess with me when I'm experiencing low blood sugar. I might bite your head off. Then you might offer us takeout food and I might cry while waiting for my food because I feel GUILTY AS SIN for biting your head off, and then I might leave you a very generous tip.
The Professor took the kids down to the indoor pool, after they managed to smear ketchup on the bedding and spill tea on the bedside phone and the bottom of his laptop. Good times, good times.
Ah, road travel!