Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Certain as the sun, rising in the east ...

Here are three things you can take to the bank with you in these uncertain times. 

1. When the children ask what we're having for dinner, and someone answers, "Hamburgers," they will always, always, shriek, "Ham-BOOGERS!" and then shriek with laughter, as if this is the VERY FIRST TIME anyone has come up with this astonishingly clever remark. 

2. When we read a book by a certain favorite author/illustrator of ours, Caroline (or whoever's listening) will say, craftily, "By who?" just so I can respond, "By Tasha Tudor," and she can yelp "Tasha TOOTER!" which is also, oh, so, funny, fresh and original. 

3. When we are driving down the highway, I will be asked approximately 62 "Why?" questions, complete with about 3 follow-up questions each. When I run out of reasons and am backed into a corner (you know, "why is it safer to ride with the back of my seat up instead of reclined?" type questions that involve at least a passing understanding of physics or philosophy or whathaveyou), and I say, "Because I love you," the three year old in question will shout, "But I don't WANT you to love me!" because what she really, really wants is to have her questions answered, and she ain't fallin' for any of Mommy's cutesy tricks. At which point her mother will begin silent prayers along the lines of "Dear Lord, please provide me with a wall against which I may repeatedly bang my head, right NOW." 

Caroline informed me yesterday that she no longer wants to be an astronaut in addition to being a mommy. She wants, instead to be a "play mom." Which I find highly flattering, because I guess that's her version of my job description. I wish for her oodles of stamina and a lifetime supply of either very large coffees or very large tranquilizers.


Lydia Anthony said...

this made me grin. "Play mom" eh? Hahaha!

Stephanie said...

It's nice to have some certainties in life. Booger. Toot. Poop. Always funny.

Vanessa said...

Flatulence seems to always make a child laugh. Even adults!