This morning as soon as I woke up, I remembered that last night, and most of yesterday in fact, I had been mucking about in this morass of self-pity and gloomy thoughts. And now here I was, poised at the edge, wondering whether I'd be falling in again.
My very next thought was of my mother-in-law saying, a couple weeks ago, something about the human mind always, when allowed to run free, ending up where it doesn't want to go. It's true, our minds to obey the law of entropy, spiralling downward into a chaotic place where we can make ourselves believe just about anything. (I'm just not cut out for this! I'm no good at anything! Etc. etc.) We switch to the wrong channel, and BLAM! we get the local news feed, just one disaster report after another.
I realized right then that what I felt incapable of doing the night before during my vent to my husband -- making a choice to think differently -- seemed possible after a night asleep. Vanessa's words in yesterday's comments were exactly the ones that came to mind: "His mercies are new every morning." All the mess from yesterday was glaring evidence that my mind needs some serious renewing, and how thankful I am that a new day promises new opportunity for that process to continue!
Today ended up being a good day to let go of the routine, read some books in pajamas, do only one errand and quit while we were ahead, let the kids get muddy, do an easy craft, pare down the housework, and, when my nerves started fraying, go pull some weeds from my garden. They yielded so easily. Yet another reason to be grateful for weeds.
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