Multitude Monday XII

The count continues, the awakening continues, the noticing of all that is beautiful about the mundane, the lovely, the shabby around me.

107. Eyes that see

108. Legs that walk, even with a sore knee after Saturday's 12-mile run

109. A cup of coffee in the morning

110. A cup of peppermint tea  in the afternoon

111. A homemade omelet at a friend's kitchen table after that 12-mile run, with laughter and tears to wash it down. Thank you Greta!

112. Unmerited favor from friends: Picking up their boys after hours at our house, they leave a bag of chocolate, coffee, apples and oranges. Thank you Joel and Laurie! May I be infected with such a generous spirit. 


113. Warm January breezes and afternoons at the park before the cold front rolls in

114. Takeout delivered by my neighbor to help feed all the extra kids at our house (including her own). Thank you Emily! 


115. The five year old improvising, full-throated, on the swing.

"Walking under the GOLDEN SUN!

Praising God for what He has done.

Praise Him for my money, so I can spend it

Praise Him for my nice warm house ... oh!

Walking under the GOLDEN SUN ..." 

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 

116. Kids playing Capture the Flag at dusk in the yard

117. A husband who gets up at night to answer the puppy's bladder-call

118. Puppy love. 

119. The ultimate status update: Being released from sins (as a prisoner) to become a king and priest to God (Rev. 1:5-6). Because He loves us! 

Sunday Inspiration

"Life works better when we know how to glance at things but gaze at God. Seeing Him clearly will enable us to see all other things clearly." 

- Selwyn Hughes

Some links for you-all-everybody:

1. Distractible? Prone to multitasking? Join the club. That's why I loved HomeGrown Mom's post, The Sacred Hours. Applies to non-homeschoolers as well.

2. Ann at Holy Experience shared an incredibly honest snapshot of marriage ... and of love life in particular. Any moms relate?

3. Meyer Lemon Bundt Cake with Lemon Curd Filling -- I made this with regular lemons, made it gluten-free, and my dinner guests love love loved it. Go forth and conquer, my domestic divas. 

Tiger Mom and Me

Unless you've been living at the International Space Station for the past two weeks, you've probably heard of Amy Chua and the furor raised by her HIGHLY controversial Wall Street Journal article and subsequent book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.

Just the first two paragraphs of her WSJ article may have you convinced that this woman is the Mommie Dearest from hell -- a caricature of the stereotypical pushy Asian parent. Here's an abbreviated list of the many things her teenaged daughters have not been allowed to do: Have playdates. Watch television. Act in school plays. Play any instrument but the violin and piano. NOT play the violin and piano. Etc.

But here's the scary part: she's for real. So is the fact that she once called her daughter "garbage" for speaking disrespectfully to her and threw a homemade birthday card back into the other daughter's face when it didn't meet her standards for effort.

TIME magazine covered the whole fracas  in  this week's cover issue. And here's the deal. First, I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with various details of Amy Chua's approach (if for no other reason than that while they are young, my actions and attitudes reflect and represent God to my kids (eek! scary! I fail!) and last I checked, God doesn't call us garbage). But. In one respect, as the TIME article points out, she's onto something.

Have you read NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children? It's chock full of scientific studies that call into question all kinds of conventional assumptions about the way kids think and operate. And specifically, in one chapter the authors  debunk the whole more-praise-is-better myth that many parents buy into. The TIME article on Chua quotes the same research. Here's the Cliff Notes (TM) version: Slathering praise on your kids for being smart, clever, artistic, etc. can actually do more harm than good. It's way more helpful and effective to comment on their efforts, not their abilities.

It's not just that too much praise creates praise junkies -- kids who are never sure of how they're doing unless an adult compliments it. ("Do you like my drawing, Mom? Do you?" Yeah, I hear that.) It's that kids  who are told they're smart all the time often develop such a paralyzing fear of failure that they simply won't tackle anything too challenging, too fraught with frustration.

I've made this mistake. After we had our oldest child tested, I sometimes thought it might motivate him  to try harder and reach his potential if I let him know about that potential. "You are a bright kid," I'd tell him, alluding to his verbal IQ score. I don't I ever came out and told him he was smarter than other kids. But who knows what leaked out between the lines?

And sure enough, this child is my most frustration-prone. My most unwilling to stick with a difficult task. My most sensitive to perceived failure. Can I take  all the blame for that? No. But my bumbling attempts to beef up his self-esteem may actually have backfired. Perhaps he subconsciously believes that not understanding a tricky math problem or struggling with some memory work undermines his value as a "smart kid."

Since reading Nurture Shock, I've changed a few of the ways I interact with my kids. Most of all, I've made a deliberate effort to praise, or even just remark on, their effort, hard work, and persistence. Especially when they've had to push through a few obstacles to lay hold of success. I'm not going to go all Amy Chua on them -- I'm probably more Siamese cat than Tiger Mom -- but I do want them to reap the sweeter rewards of the higher-hanging fruit.


The TIME article concludes thusly:

Think of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother as a well-timed taunt aimed at our own complacent sense of superiority, our belief that America will always come out on top. That won't be the case unless we make it so. We can get caught up in the provocative details of Chua's book (did she really threaten to burn her daughter's stuffed animals?), or we can use her larger point as an impetus to push ourselves forward, the way our countrymen often have in the past.

Point taken. 

Project Life 2011: Who's With Me?

I know at least of couple of my friendly blog-reading peeps have taken the plunge with Project Life this year. Stand and be counted!

Don't roll your eyes, ye non-scrappers. This is totally the project for anyone who: 1)loves to scrapbook but simply doesn't have the time to stay "caught up," or 2)doesn't scrapbook, but feels sorta guilty about the pile of miscellaneous photos hibernating in a box or computer file somewhere.

I've done the project for two years now -- roughly one photo a day, with a couple sentences of journaling -- and it's been so worth it to have a finished album that preserves all the moments, a few extraordinary (vacations, milestones) but mostly ordinary.

Indeed, some of the photos can't get more mundane. What we ate for dinner. Our shopping cart at Costco. Kids playing with the hose in the yard. But these are the plain little pearls that string together our magnificent lives. Pick a random memory from your childhood. Is it that big trip to Disneyworld or, perhaps, the way you'd run out on the first day that felt like spring and pump on the swing as high as you could? I submit that both deserve commemorating.

Jessica at The Mom Creative has a Tuesday linkup where folks post the POTD's (Pictures of the Day) for the week. I thought I'd participate this week.

Oh, and this year I'm attempting a digital version for the first time.

Oh, and Amazon just got in a new shipment of Project Life - Amber Edition and Project Life - Turquoise Edition. No, it's not too late to start! (Or don't even start with January 1. Do your baby's first year, or your first year of marriage, or a few years with monthly highlights, or whatever works for you.)

Here we go.

Jan. 19: Building a crate for Pongo, our much-anticipated puppy. 

Jan. 20: Lunch with Nonnie (my MIL) at Panda Express. We do this mid-school-day every few weeks whenever the spirit moves her. It's fun. 

Jan. 21: Introducing our brand new puppy to our back yard. By the way, Pongo is a mix of chow, golden retriever, collie (we think), and we're-not-sure what else. He's a rescue from Austin Pets Alive. 

Jan. 21 (#2): Friday afternoon at our house with the whole neighborhood gaggle ... minutes before a hot chocolate party. 

Jan. 22: Visiting our neighbors' brand new (sixth!) baby, Margaret Sophia. Holding her is another neighbor, who was clearly pleased as punch to have a real, live baby in her arms. 

Jan. 23: My kids are weird. Need I say more?

Jan. 24: I posted this yesterday, but this is the POTD. Eliza has taken to the puppy like a little momma. Nurturing comes naturally to this one. 

Yes, friends, we are living in a puppy world. With difficulty, I resist becoming a blogger who simply blathers about her pet(s). Help me stay strong. Over and out. 

Multitude Monday X

Sam notes in the Comments that the book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are is taking the "Christian-lady blogosphere" by storm and wants to know if I think it's worth the read for guys too.

I think it's more-than-worth the read for anyone who has yet to master "in everything give thanks." Anyone who complains. Anyone who's stressed. Who's dealt with hard things. Who can't always trace the rainbow through the rain. Who doubts that there's a God or that His heart can be good toward us all the time.

So, yeah. Not just for chicks, Sam. Thanks for asking!

Today I'm thankful for ...

101. New life. New life! Every pregnancy announcement thrills me as mothers around me burst into slow bloom. For example:
            -The first friend I ever made  that very first day in high school, the day of sweaty palms and a few hours' certainty that I was alone in the world and always would be ... now expecting Baby Number One. Congratulations, Erica!
    
            - My good friend Greta ... at age forty-six, expecting Baby Number Six. Last time, during her homebirth, she went to deliver the placenta and out popped another baby. Undiagnosed twins! She's pretty sure it's just one this time. Her husband's response to the news? Not, "another mouth to feed!" but "Now we're even richer." Love that.

            - And most exciting of all ... dum da DUM ... one of my siblings is finally reproducing! Paul and his wife Betty are expecting their FIRST baby in July. Don't they make the cutest parents-to-be?

The morning after we heard the news, my mother and sisters and I rushed out to the mall to shop for a creature the size of my pinky. Good times.

102. The ease of homeschooling my daughters, snuggled up on the couch or clustered quietly at the table.

103. The challenge of homeschooling my son, which keeps me more prayerful than prideful.

104. Sweet neighbors who popped in to play with our puppy when we finally left him alone to attend our church meeting yesterday. And brought doggie cookie mix.

105. This:

106. The fact that at this very nanosecond, instead of being QUIET during QUIET time,  my kids are raising the roof ... because they're giggling hysterically together and blowing raspberries on each other's tummy tum tums. 

Sunday Inspiration

"We will all have trials. The question is not when the pressure will come, but where the pressure will lie. Will it come between us and the Lord? Or will it press us ever closer to His breast?" 

- Hudson Taylor

(Image courtesy of wrestlingentropy)

Some Links for You-All-Everybody:

• Super easy sour cream enchiladas for dinner: Pioneer Woman Cooks
• How the kids keep us un-jaded: The Sweet Nest
• What housework is really about (You know you've wondered): Holy Experience

Poetry Friday: For the Dog(s)

I dug this poem out of our beloved volume, A Family of Poems: My Favorite Poetry for Children compiled by Ms. Caroline Kennedy. I bet you know why we read this one at the lunch table today:

The Song of the Mischievous Dog

by Dylan Thomas

There are many who say that a dog has its day, 

And a cat  has a number of lives;

There are others who think that a lobster is pink,

And that bees never work in their hives. 

There are fewer, of course, who insist that a horse

Has a horn and two humps on its head,

And a fellow who jests that a mare can build nests

Is as rare as a donkey that's red. 

Yet in spite of all this, I have moments of bliss,

For I cherish a passion for bones,

And though doubtful of biscuit, I'm willing to risk it,

And I love to chase rabbits and stones.

But my greatest delight is to take a good bite

At a calf that is plump and delicious;

And if I indulge in a bite at a bulge,

Let's hope you won't think me too vicious.

Note: Dylan Thomas, the premier Welsh poet, wrote this delightful bit of wry humor when he was only eleven years old! Ian, you've got six months. Better get going!

So, have you figured it out yet? In case you don't follow my every move on Facebook ...

... we got a puppy! 

It's all Pongo, all the time here at our household. Well, since last night. Is anything else happening in the world right now? Huh? I'm sorry, I just can't believe that could be. 

No word yet on whether Pongo will turn out to be  the mischievous  dog of young Master Thomas' ode. He does cherish a passion for bones already. Grassfed ones, from the cow we purchased. 

Other pertinent facts: 

1. I have never ever ever owned a dog  before, or anything else with four legs. 

2. Pongo is a mutt. He has some chowchow, some golden retriever, some collie, we think, and who-knows-what else. Mom was a stray, and he came from a rescue litter. 

3. Pongo's preferred Pandora station appears to be ragtime piano. 

4. As I suspect they would if I were ever to reproduce again in human spawn, the three kids are having power  issues over Pongo. Poor pup, he'll never figure out who's the alpha in this pack, because they can't settle that issue for themselves. 

5. Having  a puppy for the first night is much like having a newborn, but louder. Think getting up every hour and a half (hooray for the heroic Professor!) Actually, it's rougher than having a newborn because you can't just pop the pup into bed with you to cuddle and nurse. 

6. Pongo has white "socks" that are still white after a day in  our family, which is more than can be said for anyone else in this house. 

7. We wuv him.