Yawn ...

So here it is Friday night again, and again I am a zombie! The good news is, Tim finished the written portion of his qualifying exams today. Each part last 3.5 hours, no books no notes. He felt very good about how he did on Wednesday, but today was more murky -- he said no one finished, including him. (Hopefully they will grade on a curve.) At least he knows what to concentrate in studying for the oral part next Friday. Until recently, I really couldn't think about the possibility of him not passing this time, because this is really our last shot. As much as it would be nice for him to have a "real" job, I felt like it would be so unthinkable to have to quit now with nothing to show for ourselves. In the past couple days though, I feel like the Lord is working in my heart to just be open to whatever happens, to trust Him more completely for either outcome. We may feel like the Lord would not want him to fail, because this degree has been dedicated to Him, as well as the career possibilities it would open. It would seem like we had wasted the last year and a half. But I'm realizing that nothing is a waste, that He is never surprised or discouraged, and that He makes no mistakes. If this experience is only meant to last a year and a half, then there must be a reason for that, one that we may not understand until years in the future. Maybe it's about what we gain in the process, instead of the outcome of the degree and the career path. For sure, we have learned to live on less! But then again, He still has work to do to get me to live on less AND be content with that ... so maybe (surely?) Tim will pass and I will have more time for that kind of learning! :-)