Monday, January 19, 2009

What's in YOUR attic?

In the home in which I grew up resided a mysterious population we referred to as The Attic People. For fellow LOST fans, it was a bit like having The Others living upstairs, with no tropical island and plentiful mangoes to compensate.

The Attic People were, and are, responsible for all missing items in the household. (Note: they are not to be confused with The Basement Guy, the one all my siblings and I, independently of each other, were convinced was hiding behind the furnace ready to jump out and grab us during reluctant errands to the storage room for foodstuffs.) They seem to have spawned a Texas migration, although my mom assures me they are alive and active there at the old homestead as well.

The Attic People can be somewhat whimsical in their approach. They rarely need a full pair of socks, for example. Only one sock will meet the need quite nicely. And sometimes, they even return things after a while, but they're impish about it. A missing pair of kitchen shears might show up in your sock drawer (but not the sock, of course). A very important receipt we were missing turned up yesterday ... in the recycling bin! Gee whillikers!

Lately, the Attic People in our house have been working overtime in an effort to convince me that I should check myself into Shoal Creek Mental Hospital post-haste. Here is their current inventory:

1. One black leather Mary Jane style shoe from Old Navy, size Toddler 7.
2. One brand new FamilyTime.Mine planning calendar for 2009.
3. One necklace, last seen hanging from my neck.
4. One Barnes and Noble gift card -- I hope they enjoy whatever they're buying with the $13 on there. Maybe a book entitled "Overcoming Kleptomania: a 12-Step Program."
5. One library book, entitled, "Are You My Mother?" Awwww ...
6. Unknown things yet to be discovered. Or remembered. Help!


Stephanie said...

Our attic people like to return things just after they have either expired or been replaced!

PDB said...

7. One settlement check from the class action titled Kashmiri v. Regents of the University of California. In the amount of about one round trip ticket from LA to Boston. Grrr.